Texts From Last Night

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  (312): View more from Illinois

  You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on

  (384): View more from

  How come?

  (312): View more from Illinois

  Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message

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  (312): You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on (384): How come? (312): Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message http://tfl.nu/r9u6
  Replies (29) Good night (583) Bad night (1615)
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  (631): View more from New York

  I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...

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  (631): I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf... http://tfl.nu/qnwa
  Replies (12) Good night (943) Bad night (3653)
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  (302): View more from Delaware

  I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.

  (1-302): View more from Delaware

  You mean inside out.

  (302): View more from Delaware

  No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.

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  (302): I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down. (1-302): You mean inside out. (302): No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist. http://tfl.nu/eio3
  Replies (20) Good night (7569) Bad night (977)
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.

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  (850): I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did. http://tfl.nu/zdnh
  Replies (9) Good night (3569) Bad night (483)
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  (518): View more from New York

  Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.

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  (518): Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion. http://tfl.nu/ju2t
  Replies (49) Good night (2826) Bad night (558)
• Favorite

  (772): View more from Florida

  No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join

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  (772): No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join http://tfl.nu/0bbm
  Replies (2) Good night (2899) Bad night (1000)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot

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  (727): you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot http://tfl.nu/icr3
  Replies (4) Good night (2253) Bad night (958)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.

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  (608): She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism. http://tfl.nu/czkn
  Replies (4) Good night (1733) Bad night (578)
• Favorite

  (+61): View more from Australia

  Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.

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  (+61): Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon. http://tfl.nu/pw6n
  Replies (9) Good night (1993) Bad night (590)
• Favorite

  (305): View more from Florida

  Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.

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  (305): Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin. http://tfl.nu/eiwf
  Replies (12) Good night (1060) Bad night (1365)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet

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  (519): Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet http://tfl.nu/qweh
  Replies (5) Good night (1546) Bad night (637)
• Favorite

  (573): View more from Missouri

  Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?

  (636): View more from Missouri

  Wtf did you do last night?

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  (573): Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much? (636): Wtf did you do last night? http://tfl.nu/0xxc
  Replies (12) Good night (1735) Bad night (676)
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal

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  (440): I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal http://tfl.nu/vouk
  Replies (1) Good night (781) Bad night (418)
• Favorite

  (252): View more from North Carolina

  She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.

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  (252): She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices. http://tfl.nu/1715
  Replies (2) Good night (1040) Bad night (558)
• Favorite

  (904): View more from Florida

  You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.

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  (904): You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell. http://tfl.nu/g46j
  Replies (6) Good night (1737) Bad night (767)

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