i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?