So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
her vagine was all disorganized.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
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