She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.