i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
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