No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
