New low: just hacked my moms facebook
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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