I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
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