Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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