i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Randomize
