Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(951): View more from California

Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.

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(216): View more from Ohio

Whats the glycemic index on semen?

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(713): View more from Texas

Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?

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(607): View more from New York

Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.

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These 19 Men’s Fashion Mistakes are Unforgivable, According to Women
Read it at the TFLN blog
(805): View more from California

you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.

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(865): View more from Tennessee

Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.

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(+52): View more from Mexico

that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.

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(626): View more from California

Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.

(1-626): View more from California

This is why you don't have nice things.

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(61): View more from Australia

he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him

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