Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.