I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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