sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
People With No Siblings Will Never Understand These 23 Things
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
25 Seemingly Normal Things That Give Some People Massive Anxiety
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.