I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
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