Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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