when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
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