Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Randomize
