Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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