Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
