i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
