Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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