i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I can't turn off my feet"
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize
