whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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