3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
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