It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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