I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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