we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
