3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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