By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
