So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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