She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I cut my penus on the lid.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Randomize