My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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