Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
