did you get engaged???
Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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