i may or may not be watching the land before time
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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