I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
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I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
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You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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