youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize