Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
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