What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
