yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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