i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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