Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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