East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I think people are normalizing furries
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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