I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
