I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
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