Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
