Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
