this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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