Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
