Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize