Say something about gay babies.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
