Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
And then the night went full on bisexual.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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