Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Randomize
