? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
