Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
