Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
