Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Randomize
