I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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