i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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