In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
