And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
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