They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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