I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
