dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize