He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
