Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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