Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Two words: blizzard sex
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
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