I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I don't want my vagina anymore.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
