i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Randomize
