no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
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