i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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