yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
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Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
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I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
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