Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
The Olympian is in my bed
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
