she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Randomize
