Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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