"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Randomize
