apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize